Nothing real can be threatened, nothing unreal exists...

Monday, May 08, 2006

The Haunting & The Heartbreaking

After a long break I've decided to come back, more for myself that for anything else. Detective Green and I decided that we needed to take some time for ourselves. Basically we decided to follow everyone's advice and go for it....Which didn't leave a lot of time for blogging.

What else can I say, at the moment things are going quite well.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Sooner than I Thought

Someone just sent me this:

Good vs. Evil

Manon and I have been having a huge debate with each other since we met. Manon was raised in a cult on a faith healer's compound. She's quite convinced of her imperfect evil nature, of course I'm not. She does some odd self portraits from time to time. This is one of them, just to give you an idea of what I'm dealing with day to day. I think her problems were complicated by an unhealthy relationship with a priest during her late highschool early college years. A chaste affair, but an affair none the less. I'll post again later a more serious discussion of the good vs. evil thing. I just thought I'd share her self-portrait because its amusing...except when I come to believe she's actually serious about all this nonsense.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

More Dreams

I had quite a strange dream last night, me and Detective Green had a baby, and everytime the baby would get mad at me time would stop. Ed would leave for work and the baby would get upset and stop time, and then I would try to tell the baby that if she kept stopping time her daddy would never get home. Then George came over and he wanted to take the baby on a walk. I was in the kitchen doing dishes, but I could see through the walls, and George was holding the baby very awkwardly, like he wasn't sure how to do it. I was really nervous he was going to drop the baby but I let him take her anyway....Very strange dream indeed.

Hello Amy:

Thursday, March 30, 2006

From My Inbox

Since this is a rather public romance I figured what the hell: Here's something from my inbox.....


Why don't you continue to go out with Edward, he is a great guy. He's handsome he's smart. Give him a chance. You liked the kiss he gave you in the elevator that one day and don't even try to deny it. So what about the age difference? It's just numbers, and if it doesn't work out between the two of you, at least you can say you tried and it was worth it. And give yourself the benefit of the doubt. Don't just say you're a heart breaker, cause you aren't. You're a great friend to me and you haven't broken my heart yet. Believe in yourself and the relationship Liz, I think it could work if you really want it to.

I'm not saying you have to go for it, and I am not taking Edwards side. The two of you put me right in the middle of this though. So I've got to do something about it now. LOL, imagine this...I like it, a psychiatrist helping a psychiatrist. I since a little bit of irony here...don't you?

Dr. George Huang

Elizabeth Olivet, Sex Therapist

The elevator doors opened and two female detectives were standing inside. I get on the elevator, and turn so back is to them. As I'm watching the numbers light up as we ascend the building, I hear them whispering. At first I assume they're whispering about the events with Detective Green, because trust me, I've heard about that many times. I often have to remind people that I was there and they don't have to recount all the details for me. But they weren't they were referring to me as the "sex therapist."

A Confession of Sorts

At my age it is absolutely ridiculous to be going through a rebellious phase, yet here I find myself doing just that. I've also managed to get a crush on someone. I really thought that would pass me up after highschool, but oh no. Manon has a theory that because I look much younger than my years, that people treat me as such, and so I have been allowed to maintain a somewhat juvenile personality. Of course I told her she was NOT a psychiatrist, I mean if anything the girl is going to end up working for a political office or police department dealing in public policy.

I don't know if it's my own insecurity or what but I can't seem to commit myself to Detective Green. I think part of the problem is that I've never really gone out with someone that was so, well, attractive. I think I worry sometimes that I'm going to commit myself only to have him run off with someone his own age younger. Someone he has more in common with.

I also have found myself attracted to someone else lately. I don't think I would ever act on it, and I don't think the other person feels the same way, so there is relatively little danger of them initiating something with me. All the same...Manon has been walking around the office all day telling me "to stop being a complete fucking idiot" "Physician, heal thy self."

Wednesday, March 29, 2006


Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Synaptic Snap

This is a picture of synapse firing in the brain of an airline pilot during simulated engine failure....

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Words of Advice for Young People

Yes, these are crass, but in my years working as a psychiatrist there are times when I've wanted to jot these down and hand them to a client before sending them on their way. And of course, because according to Detective Green, I have a wicked sense of humor. Emphasis on the wicked part. So take heed my friends. And please, pay special attention to the part about fuck-ups, I can't remind people of this enough!


People often ask me if I have any words of advice for young people. Well, here are a few simple admonitions for young and old.

Never interfere in a boy and girl fight.

Beware of whores who say they don't want money. The hell they don't. What they mean is they want more money. Much more.

If you're doing business with a religious son of a bitch, get it in writing. His word isn't worth shit, not with the good Lord telling him how to fuck you on the deal.

Avoid fuckups. You all know the type. Anything they have anything to do with, no matter how good it sounds, turns into a disaster.

Do not offer sympathy to the mentally ill. Tell them firmly, "I am not paid to listen to this drivel. You are a terminal fool."

Now some of you may encounter the devil's bargain if you get that far. Any old soul is worth saving at least to a priest, but not every soul is worth buying. So you can take the offer as a compliment. They charge the easy ones first, you know, like money, all the money there is. But who wants to be the richest guy in some cemetery? Not much to spend it on, eh, Gramps? Getting too old to cut the mustard. And isn't a young body grand? Now you see it, now you don't. Have you forgotten something, Gramps? In order to feel something, you have to be there. You have to be 18. If you're not 18, you are 78. Old fool sold his soul for a strap-on.

How about an honorable bargain? "You always wanted to become a doctor. Now's your chance. Why, you could have become a great healer and benefit humanity. What's wrong with that?" Just about everything. There are no honorable bargains involving exchange of qualitative merchandise like souls. Just quantitative merchandise like time and money. So piss off, Satan, and don't take me for dumber than I look. As an old junk pusher once told me, "Watch whose money you pick up."

-- William S. Burroughs

I Have Moved....

I have moved into new digs, and hope to have some pictures up for you guys in the next few days. I didn't really know I wanted to move until a realtor friend of mine told me about a sweet deal. Once I looked at the place I fell in love. When I got home I couldn't stop thinking of everything as my "old apartment". I was on the phone with George and I kept referring to everything that way:

"What was that sound Liz?"

"Oh, that was me just closing my old cupboard. Its sooooo squeaky. Hang on George I'm running the water in my old bathtub. It's so small, I can't wait until I have a normal sized bathroom."

"Liz your bathroom is huge. I thought you loved that tub?"

"That was before George. From now on everything is either BNA or ANA. Before new apartment, or after new apartment."

Of course George laughed rapturously, as all of my jokes are funny. Very funny.

On a side note psych evaluations are over for the most part. Now comes the lovely task of paperwork. Nothing like a little paperwork to remove all passion and joy from your work. I find myself making jokes about the most awful things when I'm reducing a session down to paperwork. Which sometimes is necessary. At other times I'll look at George and think, we are deciding about people's lives while we fight over the last piece of pizza. Finding that balance is so hard. I understand that I'm not super woman, but I think we should all try at all times to be as close as possible. You don't have to say it. I know how that sounds. I am a psychiatrist.